Car Grief

So, last week we got hit by a drunk driver who then proceeded to drive off. Pictures to follow.
Essentially the story goes as follows- sorry if it's abridged, it's just so exhausting at this point.
We are driving North on I-5 and boom! Slammed from the back. We pull over and I call the cops while Ryan get's out to inspect the damage and speak with the perp. The guy was incoherrent and had his shirt unbuttoned down to his belly with his tie all loose. He was mumbeling to himself when Ryan says, "Hey, what happened?" the guy just keeps mumbeling, "Um... dude you hit us?" Wine-o's response "Oh No, I'm fine" "No, YOU- HIT- US" At this point it seemed like a loss cause trying to communicating, the guy was clearly out of it. Oh, did I mentioned it was 6:15 on a Monday morning? You thought it was Saturday night? Well of course you did! Why would this dude be out on a Monday morning? Because he is an IDIOT! Back to the story. Ryan came to check on me and see if I was calling the cops. When he turns to go back to talk to the guy the guy is getting in his car and driving off. Ryan starts punching his window, doesn't break it (unfortunately) and scrapes up his hand and gives himself several blood blisters. The state patrol showed up about 20 minutes later.

Oh to be in the mind of the soberly challenged. To know his thoughts, to understand his reasoning- "No, I'm fine to drive! I'm so good that I am going to drive while performing my own sobreity test! One hand on the wheel, one hand on my nose!"

"Look at me! I'm flying! I'm riding this majestic blue unicorn above a sea of lights!"

"Oh no, what's that shiny white thing?!"

"Ah man, my car looks awful! It looks like a T-Rex took a bite out of it! No seriously, look at this, oh my gosh, T-Rex in 2010! How is this possible?! He must have been so hungry, munchin' on a car! Doesn't he know cars are for driving not for eating?! That is so funny!!!"

"Oh who is this guy? What's he saying? Is he a caveman? He sure looks like it with that sloping forehead. He must own the T-Rex"